To my future Son in law

(Don’t judge me based on my title, I support my daughter in whatever her preferences will be, and whatever lifestyle she will live. I stand by her either way this is a generally speaking post)

To My Future Son in Law,

Having a little girl you are venerable to the thought of having her heart broken one day. You can’t help the inevitable. I don’t know if it is stereotypical or what have you since we females are known to be the damsel in distress but I do know that we all go through it in one way or another. Man or woman, I want my daughter to find that perfect guy. I want her to be taken care of in all aspects of life. This does not mean that she can’t do for her self because we are teaching her self value. We will teach her it is better to able to fend for your self than rely on someone, but having some one who is supportive is just as rewarding. I want the world for her. I want her to know what it is to love and be loved. I don’t ever want her heart broken; I don’t ever want to see her cry over a boy. IV been there it hurts. I don’t ever want her to hurt, if she ever gets hurt by the opposite sex I will hunt that guy down. Okay so I wont go there because I will be the mom who will stay out of it, I will be there to offer advice if she asks me for it, I wont step in unless it is something toxic and dangerous going on I think any mama would at this point. I vow to teach her right from wrong and teach her to know what the way to be treated is. I want to have the relationship with my daughter I had with my own mother.  My mother is wonderful, she is old school but in different ways. My mother knew all about me. I never lied to her or kept anything hidden from her. I was a good teenager. I came to her for advice and she NEVER steered me wrong she is my mother! I told her when I lost my virginity and she even allowed me to spend the night with my boyfriend when I was 16! YES I know and I am sure you guys will think negatively but I turned out FINE and I feel like I am not a statistic since my own daughter was planned. No teen mom here. My mom would pick my boyfriend up and let him go along with us everywhere. Her mentality on this  and I asked her was better to know where you are then not to know and you going behind my back. AMEN to that. Really! I feel like open relationship opens the door for her to come freely to me, no judging I am her mother. I am her mother FIRST and her friend SECOND. there is to be no in between.  I will imply what my mother taught me in all aspects. Of course i still have to take in to consideration what my husband wants to imply as well since he seems to be against this boyfriend coming over thing, but I told him he cant be closed minded since my own parents allowed him to stay in their home as well, course when I met him I was 18 but I was graduating that year. Back on topic. I only hope and wish for Mr. Wonderful for her I want that man to sweep her off her feet and give her the life she deserves.  I want her to have a fairy tale wedding; I have visuals of  seeing my husband walk her down the isle. I want to tell her that she is the most beautiful bride I have ever seen and for me she will be JUST that. I can’t wait for the day when she comes home to tell me she has found the one.

       SO for the Mr. Potential I ask that you love and respect my daughter the way you would only dream of a man doing for your potential daughter.  This is my random rambling and random thoughts that goes through my head. I want the world for my daughter but what parent doesn’t? I want her to have the world at her feet and I want her to be humble enough to appreciate what life gives her. I want her to succeed at life. I want her to be worldly, but above all I feel it is truly important to succeed at love. I want her to feel like her life is complete and with love there is a lot to be said, love can equal peace. If we love there is respect if there is respect there is peace. It all truly starts with love and I believe what you bestow on your child is what they will become, you are raising these little beings in this huge world and with that comes heart ache, love, adventures. No one ever said that life was going to be easy but you just hope to make the right choice in hopes it leads you down the path of life. I want Isla to experience the world; I want her to find the FOREVER kind of love that we as a society have lost sight of. It gets harder and harder to keep a traditional lifestyle and marriage. I want her to be rich in love. I want Mr. wonderful to be just that perfect I won’t settle for less for her. Is this too much to ask? I want her happiness I want her to look back at her life as she is sitting on her porch drinking tea and I want her to look to her right and see her other half and feel fulfilled, think that what she has done and been through has brought her happiness and no regrets because remember Never Have Regrets Because at One Point Everything You Did Was Exactly What You Wanted. Own it. SO I say: Mr. Perfect please cherishes her and loves her until forever. Honor her and take her as she is.  I love my daughter and I have dreams of one day sharing the moment with her where she becomes a mother and for the first time in her life she can truly have a glimpse of MY OWN  love for HER. I can’t wait to be there beside her (if she allows me) on the day she welcomes her own child, I have these fantasies of seeing her have my first grandchild. Only then I think she will know what it is like to love and be loved in return… genuinely and in a different way. I want nothing more than for her to share this feeling with her potential Mr. wonderful. the way i shared that moment with her daddy that moment when my little family was alone in our hospital room for the first time as parents and my strong NEVER cries husband, shed tears because he was so over joyed with the birth of his daughter that he cried and thanked GOD out loud for this miracle he gave us.So there he layed in that ever so comfortable couch bed and cried, he asked me if we could pray together... 

We offered a prayer of gratitude together to our heavenly father for entrusting us with something so special, so healthy and beautiful, so pure and perfect. it was somewhere during those first few moments as a mother, looking at my husband now as a father, that my faith in God grew. my purpose in life now seemed so clear and this overwhelming new love and responsibility kicked in that i didn't know i had for my new baby girl.And we laid there in my hospital bed him, isla, and I and we both cried and we were so thankful! That has got to be my most treasured moment. I will never forget that feeling that passed through my whole body. He was in LOVE! Tell me am I asking for too much? 

Flash Forward aka someone hurry please press pause!

for some the first week of school is behind them for others it's just beginning. school has been the talk around my office and every where i go. Since being out of school  i never paid attention and now i am finding my self watching a little girl at the cross walk on her way to school and i envision Isla. Time fly's and there is no stopping it. I remember being in grammar school and wishing that time moved faster! WHAT ON EARTH WAS I THINKING? Now i only wish i could slow the hands of time so i can enjoy the little things. Isla is one going on 13 i cant help but think of what it will be like for her when she is in school i don't know how i am going to take this step. You hear and see in movies and TV where the parent is heart broken because their child let go of their hand so effortlessly on their first day of school. THAT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WILL BE ME Will i be prepared? Will i know what to do? i meant will i know what school to send her to? i mean when do you start applying for preschool? I am so scared for her to join the rest because with that comes more.Comes growing up, Independence and letting go. will i be ready? are you ever really ready? what can i do but enjoy the time i do have her little, the time she is all mine and the time i don't have to share! Times are different and for being new school and knowing "whats up" i don't want her to grow up i am scared for her and for what will be once she enters this milestone. i guess i will have to sit back and let nature run its course as i see her walk into her first day of kindergarten and take her seat in front of a sign that will read
I-S-L-A, Fingers crossed that when we are there i take it with grace and understanding. please know i will be the FIRST parent in line waiting to pick Isla up from her first day of school,because well i am sure i will probably not leave the parking lot :)

 
and now...

On This Day In 2010

Dayana Benavidez34 weeks ♥

6 more weeks left ♥

42 days to go! ♥

week recap

Earlier this week

Isla's new buddy

i love her sleeping face

I love our mornings

This was our Saturday Isla did so well at The UFC fight along with friends

Silent Sunday

A day in the life of US (mommy and Isla version)

working on this walking thing...

I like Fridays but Saturdays are my favorite! Because this means its Isla and mommy day I share her on Sunday with the man she calls da-da! No complaints here though. I enjoy Saturdays with my girl.  With daddy’s schedule he gets her to him self on Mondays works out so well for us we each get our one on one time with her and the rest of the week we all are together but it’s during the week and we both work. Isla stays with his Grandma as I have expressed in a previous post. Well Saturdays usually go a little like this

7:00 AM- Isla wakes up for a bottle I usually give her 2 ounces

8:00 AM- Daddy wakes up and Isla and I are usually in bed watching Club house Disney

8:45 AM- We send daddy off for work and Isla and I have breakfast

We usually play until 9:30-10:00 and then its time for her fist nap

10-11:30 sometimes 12 we have lunch get her all cleaned up and we usually will walk to the park, we have snacks and by the time we come back she is usually ready for her second nap 2 oz of formula and she naps from 2-3

We usually will run errands after this nap since she will be refreshed and ready to hang

Daddy gets home by 5 so we usually go to diner or have dinner at home we play have bath time and she is usually ready for bed by 8 sometimes 9 and she is out for the night!

Daddy and mommy time after that.  Now this is an example of a day when we stay home at times we are super busy as we have been these last couple weekends. I have felt as though we don’t get to spend that one on one time these last Saturdays but we are together and I enjoy her company! It’s a little more hectic but it works. Isla is a good baby to travel with so I am not complaining but its so funny how things change when you have a child and the way you have to schedule things now, before Isla the husband and I used to do random things at random hours and now we are “planners” I wouldn’t have it any other way since “I am a planner”

What I do on hectic Saturdays

The night before I pack up and refill diaper bag

* Snacks

* Food

* Warm clothes/ cool clothes

* Diapers

* binky’s

I pack a bag I usually leave in my car of toys, books, extra blankie, bottle and a comfy outfit for me.

I think ahead on what I am going to wear and lay Isla’s outfit out so in the morning I can change her and be done with her “readiness” then I can proceed to get my self ready. I usually will put the bags in my car the night before so when I leave in the A.M. my hands are with baby in tow.

These simple things help me get a good start to our day, very easy to do and makes a world of difference.

Im off to Enjoy my Saturday with my lala (what we have been calling Isla since she was in my belly) 

Little miss has a photo shoot :) 

ONE MORE MONTH

It is so very hard to believe that in one month i will have a one year old! Where has the time gone!?!

My daughter is 11 months old today!!! Today it has been 11 months since god blessed me with my real life angel! It has been the BEST 334 days of my life! I look at her and I am amazed every single day! Isla is the best thing (other than daddy of course) that has ever happened to me, let me rephrase that Isla is the best thing that has ever happened to us. She is our biggest accomplishment, life so much more rewarding with her in it! Being parents is the best feeling in the ENTIRE world! Iv learned so much with her, I have learned about me, about her, and about my husband. There have been some not so easy times but its been nothing major. I am learning to be a good mother which I feel IV taken on very well, its funny how that works its instant how you just know. I am surprised how well I know my daughter I love that I can read her little face and know just what she needs. Its part of being a mother. I am trying to create memories with her teaching her about life, stopping to smell the roses now. For her I have endless amount of time I stop to admire her and cuddle her any chance I get I know I frustrate her sometimes, but Isla mommy just can’t help her self your too cute!!!

So let’s see Isla is crawling at 60 MPH lol. She pulls her self up from anything

She is a great eater, napper, and sleeper. This child is perfect! Since the day we brought her home it’s been cake, it’s been BLISS   I am not just saying this If I was guaranteed all my babies would be like her I would have 12! Grandpa would always try to make her cry because we hardly ever heard her cry. You would walk in to the house and people would question if a newborn really lived here, often get complimented about what a good baby she is... Let’s just hope this roll over to the Toddler stage ;) I may not be so lucky.

Isla you are weighing 17.8 pounds

Im not too sure how long you are I do remember Dr Hurley always tells us you are above average length and you are petite weight but she loves how beautifully you are growing.

She is really impressed at how well you keep eye contact and understand commands! You are a genius I tell ya!

You say a total of 4 understandable words:

 Mama,

 Dada,

 Agua( water)

Teddy

You talk a lot though and I LOVE IT! You are so much fun your little personality oozes out!

You love daddy, BUT you are still in full MAMA mode! And I LOVE IT!!!!

You love to cuddle and this week you did something that made me feel so special I always go home on my lunch but you were sleeping so you didn’t see mama but I saw and kissed you, well I walked in from work and your face lit up! And you looked me dead in the eyes and threw your self on me, looked and more cuddles, looked and held on to me! GOD how rewarding is this! Its like you really missed me! Thank you so much for those moments my angel! You have no idea what you mean to mommy! In one month you will be mommy’s and daddy’s ONE year old! WOW!

I love you through and through little girl! 

PS: you could stop growing now! thanks! 

♥

On This Day In 2010

Dayana BenavidezI have never lived on someones every move like I do now,I love her every poke, kick, nudge,hiccup! I l love this little girl! I can't wait for the day that our eyes meet!

STEPMOM

Okay so this weekend one of the movies we watched was Stepmom, I am such a sap and this movie totally got me thinking… if you have seen this movie I am sure you agree the story line is awesome total tear jerker. If you haven’t seen it I highly recommend it to you. So Netflix or redbox rent whatever! Watch this movie! It came out in 1998, Susan Sarandon, Ed Harris, Julia Roberts are amongst the cast to name a few.

WARNING:

***Spoil alert if you haven’t seen this movie then skip this entry and scroll down to next paragraph

Miscellaneous Wednesday

The things i miss about being pregnant


I loved being pregnant.
i had a wonderful pregnancy.
it was 37 weeks long.
I got the perfect baby and if they guaranteed my next baby to be this perfect i would do it time and time again.

i miss seeing the monitor and seeing that little heart beat flicker on the screen
i miss going to the doctor and hearing the heart beat
i miss feelings the "flutters"
i miss seeing the way my tummy expanded to make room
i miss being able to eat WHATEVER i wanted because ladies i didn't hold back this pregnancy and ate as i pleased.
i miss how everyone was always polite and held doors, let me cut in line, gave me the "awe" look
i miss when you were strong enough to move feeling those kicks
i miss being able to see your movements like literally see you move
i miss watching your hiccups
i miss rubbing my belly
i miss how cute my belly got
i miss the anticipation- i loved not knowing what was coming...
i miss having a "secret" the husband and i shared before we told the world!

although there are things i did actually miss, i am glad that its behind me becuase it blessed me with the most wonderful feeling in the world, being a mother is like no other feeling possible














On This Day In 2010

Dayana Benavidez: Nap time in the confrencess room for my lunch!

 

ah to be preggo!!! lol quiet fitting! 





My BIGGEST fears

With LOVE comes FEAR

 Since having Isla a whole new world of fears comes over me now, I have more to lose now. My fears are deeper; I look in to her face and I am overwhelmed with the thought of having to do with out her now that she is here and mine.

I fear that if something were to happen to me

Could someone love my baby the way I do

Would they know the difference between her hungry cry and her tired cry? Would they know how much she loves to cuddle and she loves to have someone there laying besides her for comfort. Would they know that when she first falls asleep for the night with in 30-45 minutes she will wake up and all she needs is to be touched? Would they tell her how much I loved her and how I showered her with holds and kisses? Would they know she kicks off her blankets because she hates to be hot? Would they know to check on her and cover her up once she is in a deeper sleep when it’s cold. Would they know that she enjoys when you lay on her and are face to face tickling her and making her laugh. Her giggles make my heart skip.

I am teaching her about the world, I am her voice I am here to care, love, and cherish her. The way I am teaching her about the world, I need to teach her about the bad and hope she takes my words and learns the positives and the negatives of this world. It is a scary big world out there all I can do is guide her.

When I am away from her I get anxious, I miss her. I love her so much it hurts.

Life affects me so much more.

I am more aware of the worry that comes with becoming a mother.

My heart is out there.

And all I want is to keep it safe.

To keep her safe.

I understand I must learn to let go and with time it will be easier but these worries and fears will never ease, I am a mother now. I am her mother. 

week and weekend recap phone pictures

 We had a busy weekend. Too short. Now its Monday. I dread this day because my week starts and i leave my gorgeous :(  This weekend was a good one though Friday we had a play date, Saturday we had a mini Garage sale and we did some major shopping with Grama. Sunday is our little family fun day we love to lounge in the morning and in to the early afternoon watching movies and in bed, mommy, daddy, and lala.

Later that Sunday we went to visit Grandma's ended the weekend with a movie in bed with the husby and i fell asleep on him. i am EXHAUSTED!

So now here we are what i have been dreading counting down the days until i leave Isla for the first time. Husband and i will be in a wedding and its a destination wedding in DENVER we live in CALIFORNIA  that is

831 miles (flight) 2 1/2 hour flight! 

i am going to miss my baby!

so there you have it my week and weekend re cap! Have a wonderful WEEK!

Silent Sunday

Selfish.

"NO ONE ELSE will ever know the Strength of my LOVE FOR YOU. after all, You're THE ONLY ONE who knows what my HEART sounds like from inside".

I love to hold my daughter. There aren't any words to describe the overwhelming feeling that comes through me.  This feeling i have never felt. Today i am working on  my daughters first birthday! where on earth has the time gone can i please stop time... NOW i miss my baby i mean she is a baby but my baby is steps away from walking. i am proud i am sad, happy, i am emotional. its bitter sweet feelings. She is my world I look at her and I want to cry. I love the way she wraps her

body around me, I love the way her little frame takes over the whole bed, I love the way she is asleep and she babbles, I love how she show’s me she loves me! It's still amazing to me that i made her. I love the fact that she is mine forever!  AM i selfish for wanting to keep her this little. i say selfish because if i were actually able to keep her this little if say  i had a time capsule or a time machine best your bottom dollar i would! WHY? because my daughter will NEVER be this little again! NEVER! i will never be able to hold her as i do now, she will never fit the length of my arms again, she will never be able to climb on us the way she does, i wont ever hear her little babbles anymore,  i will never be able to fit her into her little adorable baby outfits of hers.she will never need me like she does now. although i say this i have fantasies about her being older and enjoying our day out shopping and grabbing lunch, doing girly things i can share with her.It wouldn't be fair because we brought her in to this world to be able to share our love, the experiences, to be able to watch her grow and be proud of out accomplishments. what i can do is cherish each and every second god gives me with her to its full extent NEVER take for granted what we have. Lord you have been so good to me and for that i say THANK YOU!  My heart is complete and she is the reason i believe in miracles. SO i will continue to mold her and teach her the ways to you lord. Let nature take its course.

 how cool is this!?! i looked on my FB this and saw this on the right hand column and thought it was so neat! i never noticed until today i am going to look forward to looking at it daily now. So for now i think with some of  my post i am going to include this little "on this day in 2010" flash backs only if they are worthy of sharing because god knows some of the things iv said in some of my status's LOL!

On This Day In 2010

Dayana Benavidez

I feel truly blessed surrounded by those i love! Isla has already changed us we already live on her every movement! i cant imagine what it will be like to finally hold her!
I simply cant wait! ♥

8/12/10

Frustrations rant life is not always smooth.

Why can’t I seem to be able to squeeze in my magazine subscriptions that have been piling up for the past two months?

Why isn’t there enough hours in one day

why is there not enough room in our closet?

Why can’t I seem to keep our living head quarters clean?

Why is it I wash bottles to find two more that need to be washed?

Why must I be at work when my heart is at home?

Why is it that when the hubby comes home from work he expects dinner and  plays with Isla for a few then is off to do what he wants for the rest of the night with a little interaction here and there and I am left for the feeding changing, and putting to bed? I mean I loooooooooooooove to be the last one she sees but I work too I am exhausted! And THEN I still have to wash bottles, dry them, organize for the next day, and clean or wash whatever. Then once I am finally done he expects some loving! Really?!?! I want to flip through my magazines without getting my boob grabbed or my ass rubbed. Ugh. Really!?!? You think you deserve MY undivided attention now? Where are my needs? My needs don’t require sex or sexual motions. Geeeze!

Why does he get to sleep in and take naps when he wants and I am left with no support on our days off? YOU know sometimes I wish he would be considerate and be like “why don’t you let me take her mama take a nap” NOPE. His excuse she only wants you, but its because she knows I am the one to offer what she needs and gives her my undivided attention! So I tend to my daughter and enjoy her company when I feel like we should be up and about taking her out as a family instead he sleeps his morning/ afternoon away.

We are normal. We fight. We laugh. But with everything I know that we are always there for each other. I love the fact that he knows me the best and that I can say and do mean things and he is always forgiving. I like to paint a pretty picture but some days is not always pretty, but Isla she takes me out of my funk all I have to do is look at her and my anger or what ever is gone! So I do it all I take it one step at a time and instead of bitching as I am known to do I handle it all! My job never ends, I don’t have a clock out, I am a mother. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I don’t mind all the sleepless nights, I don’t mind having to stop reading my book right at the good part, I don’t mind that I can’t even flip through a magazine. I don’t mind I can’t use the restroom in peace as sounds behind the door sound like they are falling apart. I love this life I am living; I strive to be Isla’s perfect mommy and Frankie’s perfect wife! They are my world and although I complain I wouldn’t have my life be ANY other way. Kicking and screaming, laughter and tears this is my life.

so i am off to enjoy my Friday! 

i am excited to spend the next two days with my loves! 

i am off to my Hectic perfect life!  

I Am The Perfect Mommy...

The actual night i spoke about

Does that even exist? is there a Martha Stewart or a Betty Crocker of mommy hood? i am not talking the Super Nanny here. I am no where near the perfect mommy, but pretty darn close just kidding ya'll! the husband goes as far as saying i am uptight and i am anal and what not but he admires my drive and admires that this little girl has it all and more than she needs from binky wipes to wipes for the wipes. after 10 perfect months of baby and mommy hood i found my self in a situations where i was wondering when i was going to be able to get home i didn't even get to enjoy my dinner with my bestie this particular night it seemed as though teething baby was in  full blown teething and boy was she  upset about it. She is not a teething nightmare by all means she has actually taken it very well she only has 2 wittle teeth on the bottom i am anticipating the ones right next to those i can see them coming in any day now. Well Saturday she was truly hurting i could tell she was trying to devour her rubber place mat that i put down for her any time we go out to dinner. she was trying to find relief so i grabbed an ice cube and rubbed it along her gums a few times and she let me. Before that though she was actually yelling and acting the way i would think the terrible twos would be. Not wanting to sit nicely in her big girl high chair the way she normally is so excited to do she wanted mommy and i knew just what to do nothing else mattered i didn't care if people saw her throwing her self and whining the whole time as i gathered what i needed to begin the distraction parade so the bestie could enjoy her meal. I feel like i am a very good mommy i am the mommy with patience i never would have imagined me being the way i am. As i watch other people fall apart around me trying to control their child being all frantic while they dealt with the situation. or the way my own family member's seem to get flushed when Isla is crying, i just ignore and go about doing what i need to do ease her.Which brings me to thinking about different parenting styles. I am not perfect! i remember one night when she was a newborn and my husband was sound asleep (another one of my frustration for  future post) i sat up in our bed holding our weeks old daughter who was sick and lost her cry she literally would cry and you couldn't hear her, she was hurting and couldn't breath,i had tried it all humidifier, baby rub, nose sucker, saline drops 3 am steam shower bathroom sesh i couldn't sleep i was worried if i did she would stop breathing. Since she was in my belly i was scared some freak accident would cause me to have a still born and i would lose this little being my heart goes out to all the families that have been affected with this sort of event. so this is something i don't do well would i am sure i am not the only one who had these fears so i sat there holding her as she finally fell asleep i was scared so i slept sitting up back against the wall at a slight slant that whole night with her facing forward on my chest that night i remember sobbing with her i couldn't do anything to sooth her and i cried not because i didn't know how to get her to relax but because she was hurting and nothing i did seemed to ease her i felt like i failed her she depends on me to know these things i am her voice. The way she would look at me "like come on do something" broke my heart! I tried so hard to do what ever it was to help her eat, breath, sleep i resorted to letting her sleep in her car seat as our pediatrician said the elevation would help. I tried feeding her with a medicine dropper just so she would take in some formula, i stayed wide eyed watching her little frame inflate up and down with every breath she took. Where am i going with all this? I feel like no matter what situation is thrown at us mommy's we seem to work at it to care for a child, its in our nature so doesn't that make us the perfect mommy? I AM Isla's PERFECT MOMMY It does not matter what i look like or what i wear or how long my hair is what matters is i nurture her and show her time and time again that mommy is there to help her i build her confidence with every whimper i am there. i was given advice left and right and in the end i did what i thought was best and it all has worked out for me. i have the perfect mommy who eased me and did what she could to ensure i was taken care of i think that is what being the perfect mommy is. I don't like to judge other mommy's because i don't do things the "right" way, i do things MY WAY. So my suggestion is do what you think works best for you, let that inner mommy take reigns and go with your feelings. Don't let anyone judge you and if you catch glares keep on mama YOU are perfect! 









Miscellaneous Wednesday’s my mommy must haves

My mommy must have baby products  I would have to say my favorite top five items were and still are in constant rotation are as follows and in no particular order... i want to express that i research and am so "anal" about anything i give my daughter. i go all out i mean my husband makes fun of me becuase i research an item until the end of the earth! when we get an item i either go online or mail in the "recall" for in case something comes up i want to be notified i save all manuals and file away in our important paper work. These items are ones i loved and wanted to share.  so enjoy!

Exersaucer- any kind you find adequate for your child is just fine I had three different ones for her one that was stationary, one she was able to jump in and one she was able to “ride” in the other where she was able to go around the whole thing and run around and boy did she. Later in her age we are able to remove the seat and it’s an activity table I love anything that you can use multiple ways.

Boppy pillow- I used this when I was pregnant to get comfortable to with my big belly beats spending on the preggo sleep pillow. Then when she came and I attempted to breast fed, I also used to lay her when she was all swaddled and took her nap. She loved to use it to sleep. I would also use it as she was starting to sit on her own behind her as a support pillow I LOVE this!!!!

Pack n play- I LOVE THIS it makes it easy access to travel with baby and any overnight trips at Grama’s or anywhere we may be staying. Bring it to the park, beach, anywhere you would be out for a while and baby nap may be needed.

Diaper Genie- This completely hides the smells of dirty diapers. It really really really does!! I was so amazed by this little baby! It sure beats walking the diaper out after each doo doo! I highly recommend this as one of the top registry! Also the refills are a little pricey BUT they last forever per role!

My baby Brezza- I made my daughters baby food from the time she was able to have solids to just recently. I researched all my options and decided on this system! I LOVED it made it so simple for me to have full control of what I was giving my daughter. I would buy all organic, wash, peel, dice and just steam AND let the machine do its thing I would then put it in to containers I bought at BRU labeled and refrigerated and or froze for later feeding.They have an awesome space saver stacking trays for easier storing. Baby Brezza has a very impressive customer service, i had ONE issues with my machine after a while nothing huge, but it was so simply to get my questions answered and my machine replaced. Super speedy turn around. i also have their cutting board since i am a stickler for germs and what not i STRICTLY use the cutting board for my daughters produce. the little spatula was a little convenient plus. HIGHLY recommend this product. if you are interested i have attached a link to their products. right here.  I loved making her food!

Bonus Item i had to throw out there: 

BUMBO- i loved this product too i used to love to sit her in it while i would get ready in the morning right next to me infront of the mirror. i took it every where beach, park, mom's, you name it it came i handy all over the house i even fed her in it for sometime when i felt like her highchaqir was massive compared to her little size! i love it! 

These were my favorite items i could have ever used and highly recommend it to anyone, this is strictly my own judgement and my own personal review, my suggestions if you are looking to purchase for your self or for someone you know.

Image A-D

I just had to post this no reason!

My Stats:

Pre- baby I ranged from 110-118

When I got pregnant 118

When I walked in to have my daughter 156!

3 months post baby 115 yup less than when I was pregnant

10 months 108 my lowest YET now I know you all may be thinking too skinny! Blah blah… see all through high school I was actually 105-112 range and during the day I fluctuate a few pounds. I am happy with my weight. I am 5’3 so I am a Shorty I am petite body frame, IV always had curves so my weight does not look sickly. What matters most to me is how I fit in my clothes and how I feel. Judge me if you must but I know what looks good on my body and what feels good. I am not perfect. Nor do I try to be, what matters to me is that I am comfortable in my own skin. I also LOVE that my husband LOVES my body pre and post! He is amazing to me makes me feel beautiful always! I am my worst critic I will admit that I have my issues and I work at them as best as I can and work through my “trouble” zones.  With that said I LOVE and APPRECIATE my body… now. Since having Isla I have a greater appreciation on a woman’s body, be it little, big, tall, short. I appreciate my body for what it has blessed me with! It is so amazing what a female body can do and endure. My body created and carried a life. To me that is beautiful and all the “scars” that come with it. In my case I can say I got lucky and didn’t get any stretch marks on my belly, I got some on the inside of my thighs but that was already pre existing and aren’t too terrible so I cant complain. What I am uncomfortable with per say my insecurity are my boobs! YEP! Or lack of. See I used to be what you called a full B now I am what feels like a SMALL A! They aren’t just an A though they are a pair of saggy no umff A I can’t create cleavage for the life of me. When I had my daughter I was a D can you believe it a D I was not able to breast fed her so I pumped for three months, I tried so hard to have her latch on and even seeked the lactating nurse and nothing. See my daughter was born with low blood sugar so they had me offer her the bottle nipple to get it to spike so she refused my breast, I tried and tried to get her through out those 3 months and NADA! So I did what I could and pumped and my boobies went south and I am okay with that. Sort of. Hubby said if I am really insecure he supports me and my mommy “boob job” I don’t want anything big at all after all I am a mommy now it is strictly to make me feel better and fill out a size A bra! Geeze! No not literally a size A I want maybe a small C, I just need more on the top my boobs have NO elasticity! Like NONE! They fall flat like pancakes. My only regulation is to wait until we decide to have anther baby. We will see how that goes. My body did things I never could have imagined, I LOVED being pregnant! I had the best pregnancy! I enjoyed every bit! Part of that may have been because I had no symptoms other than the obvious fatigue, no sickness is where I am getting at. I did however suffer from a partial placenta previa which affected us sexually and towards the end my hips KILLED! I hurt so bad I hated moving! My body is my wonderland and I love it more for the gift I was given, I try my best to stay active and on top of my diet as far as eating things that are good for me although I could do a little better but it works, I maintain.  No one is perfect and if you are then more power to you. I strive to see my daughter grow up one day and by that I will try my hardest to keep my self and my family healthy. This post is about me expressing that it is okay to have insecurities, I am sure we all have them but as cheesy as it is love your self for you and what you do have, what you may not see as beauty others may. I carried my daughter for 37 beautiful weeks I was pulled, poked, punched, and kicked, but best of all I felt those flutters and for that I say I love YOU body! And thank you for my miracle! Isla baby you were good to mommy! For that I thank you!

on to the pictures

pre baby

post( 10mths)

37 weeks i was HUGE funny how they used to actually
tell me i was tiny. yeah right!

3 months post

left view post pudge



right view post



 apologize for the format of the pictures it looked neatly organized on my draft then preview well... i am still getting the hang of it! any who i labeled accordingly