Hard to believe

It's been 5 months since Isla became a big sister. 

It's been 5 months since Ezra came In to this world and made our little family complete. 

It's been 5 months since we became parents of two beautiful and healthy little girls. 

Amazing to think that my husband and i will be celebrating 9 years this April. How it all began back In 2005 and  we are here now. How our simple carefree lives have changed. It was an adjustment going from just selfishly  living just us  two to the three of us and now the four of us. Life is a blessing. We created these little humans and now are in charge of their little lives. We are their providers, their caregivers, their voice, their memory makers and captures. It's amazing to be a mother. I always knew I wanted children but was in no rush to achieve that. I say achieve because to me my babies are my biggest achievement. Amazing to think back when I found out we were pregnant five years in to our relationship and how it just seemed to be something that we both accepted because well we were in Iove and we didn't do anything to prevent it. The best decision we have ever made was to become a family and unite our lives forever in holy matrimony. I can't imagine my life any other way. I am where i want to be and with who I want to Share my life. In less than a month now I will have to face the biggest "real" challenge i have ever had to face in our relationship. My husband decided to join the force and give our family a chance at achivieving greater. I know that this decision came late in his life and it was a hard one at that. After going through out turbulances we decided that this was the best for us. I say we because we are a unit,but in reality it was my husband who decided To make this happen. For several personal reasons the most important one was to allow me to stay home and raise my babies. I will forever be thankful for his sacrifice. Funny how time has a way of changing our paths and how I see our life changed. I am faced with like I said the biggest challenge that I have ever faced, that is being away from my husband for over 5 months. In our 9 years of courtship we have probably spent no more than two months combined not consecutively. One night here one night there type of deal. We have been unseperable from the beginning. I mean it. It feels like I can't breath without him. Like I can't sleep or think without him. He is my soul my partner in life. Even when we went through a hard time three years in to our relationship is nothing compared to what we are facing now. He is my rock. He is my best friend. He is my relief at the end of a hard day. I don't  know how I will be with out him. I know it will be hard and that we will go crazy with out eachother but it will be worth it. We have to stay strong for our little family and just push through because it is only temporary. I know I will keep my self busy with my girls and this time away will go by fast. Staying strong for my soldier and trying to comfort him once we are able to communicate again. So much can change in 5 months and it's the reality we are faced with, I want to document for him the time away from his girls so he feels as though he was never gone. Good thing is Ezra is young enough to not remember this time away and Isla is old enough to understand yet maybe forget that daddy was away from us. I don't want them to remember that part. I don't want to remember that part. It's not going to be easy but I know life will go on and I need to be strong for him and hold on my end of the deal and be his "lioness" I can't wait for October. I want to make sure that I update our blog so that the girls can have a time capsule and able to look back at our life as well as document our family journey. 

Dear Ezra

                                    
You are 10 days new...

What an amazing 10 days it has been. I still can't believe I am a mama of two beautiful little human beings. You came In to our family and fit right in. I'll admit I was so nervous as to how things would play out but have only been pleasantly surprised to find out that it feels so complete now that you are here with us now. Life feels so surreal. I look at your little features and I am in awe of you. Mommy loves you so much it was love at first sight as I knew it would be. My love just grows for you daily. So amazing how your heart just expands and suddenly you realize that you my little Ezra was the missing piece. You came In to this world October 22,2013 at 3:34 pm. Weighing in at 6 pounds 7 ounces and 20 3/4 long! And a head full of hair! Such amazing feeling to know you are finally here with us. You came two weeks early and we were already so eager to meet you. Our start at home was a little rough but not anything because of you, but unfortunately because  your sister caught the flu and was sick with a fever of 102 when we brought you home. Mommy and daddy had to keep you both seperated for the first three days. The good thing was that your sister Isla was already at the end of it.  Killed me to be at the hospital having you and knowing your sister was so sick and wanted mommy. So there we were sanitizing EVERYTHING constantly and using Lysol all over the house and we succeeded because you didn't catch the bug, now daddy on the other hand poor guy did. Our rough start only made us realize that after that was all over with we got this whole two babies thing down! We survived! :) 

A little about you pretty baby is that you just like your sister are perfect! Everything at the hospital was smooth sailing and once home you continued to impress us. You certainly are an eater. Daddy says that you are your sister but enhanced. Isla was such a perfect baby and you are just that. You eat so well, sleep so well and NEVER cry. You are a little grunter which we find absolutely adorable. When you are waking for a meal you do these cute little grunts and it lets me know you are stearing up for a feeding and we get you fed and changed so happily. I look forward to seeing your little face for your feedings. We are all so very in love with you. You are thriving so well at your post birth visit 4 days after you gained a pound! So cute my little chubby cheeks. :) god is wonderful and has blessed us yet again, you are my little borrowed angel. We love you so much and I just can't wait to make memories for you and your sister. Life is good. 

                                  

"The two most important days of your life are the day you were born and the day you figured out why"- Mark Twain

Hello Fall

I can't believe that it's October and even more so I can't believe that I haven't posted in over 5 months! Yikes. Life. 

So much going on and so much anticipation in this month! New baby should make her arrival soon and we are so ready for her! Big sister is prepared and so excited for new role she is taking. Knowing the two most important rules 1. No touching babies head. 2. Only hold sister when a grown up helps you hold her. She has this down! You ask her the rules and she claims the above. I just hope she transitions well and mommy and daddy will make sure of it! It's what has me loosing sleep at night just thinking about isla and how I have to leave her to go to hospital. We will cross that bridge when we get there Dayana!!! 

It's all I keep saying to my self. 

So I'm currently term. 37 weeks and 3 days preggo! Almost there! I am definitely feeling like I did with isla. Ready to reclaim my body and hold my accomplishment. Isla came at this mark but hang in just a little longer darling we have your sisters birthday celebration(first weekend after her birthday) this Sunday and pumpkin patch this Saturday! After this weekend it's fair game and you can make your appearance! We are so ready for baby BUT still have to pack hospital bag for hubby and I. Also Islas over night bag too for grandmas house. Breaks my heart I'll spend two days away from her. Okay I need to stop now  or I'll start crying. Baby number two is doing wonderful and in position already so now we have I sit and like I said just wait...

Isla is potty trained and excelled earlier this summer, No accidents, dry over nights, and loved her big girl undies! Three! My daughter is three!!! I can't believe she is three! We enjoyed being able to watch her excitement this year for birthday from last. The anticipation of the upcoming day was so fun! We did a few birthday related activities and she just loved the lead up. On September 26 th she woke up to balloons on the walls and all around her,  a birthday banner along with her birthday presents followed by a special breakfast. We also had prepared her telling her we were going to take her to a birthday surprise trip. Needless to say for the last couple days she was working us to try to get the surprise out of us. We didn't budge, we got in our car that morning and took off to Long beach to The Aquarium of the Pacific and boy was she surprised! She loved the trip! We came home to play with her new gifts from that morning and enjoyed an evening with her little cousins and pizza and cake! This weekend we plan on her little celebration with a few of her little friends. Can't wait for that. 

So now we are in full on GO mode and anticipating the arrival of baby number two and this month not only kicks off the holiday season but our merry little family is about to be rocked! So I am trying to really focus on Isla and make her feel special and not feel any sort of rift, I know it it's only normal but she is very bright and so perceptive to feelings and I know she feels this baby coming because she is really testing us not super out of line but she pushes mommy so much more. I have also noticed that although my hold is a mamas girl she has times'ed that by 10. Like she won't let me out of her view. I love to see her follow me around but when I want her to play independently she asks me so sweetly " mommy watch me play" I can't resist! 

So we take this on a day at a time and just wait it to see what comes next...

Enjoy fall!

Dear isla

They say you enter this world alone(unless your a twin, not in this case though) :)  although that is partially true I want you to know that you weren't alone, mommy and daddy have been and will continue to be by your side. You enter this world alone and you leave this world alone is what they say. Again you will never be alone. God willing when you have a lived a fulfilling and loooooooooooong beautiful life and you are an old lady, warm in your bed and god is calling on you once again you will be with us in heaven and not alone. Your whole life through mommy will be there when ever you need me and I will do my best to be there for you anytime you might need me. The reason for my post baby girl is because in 5 month you will become a big sister. We will changing your world and you are so little I don't want you to feel any difference, any changes. I want you to know that there will be no reason why I won't be able to comfort you when you need me. You are such a mommy's girl I love our connections and don't want you to feel left out or rebel against me. My heart hurts at the thought of leaving you already for the day I am at the hospital having your sibling. I hate when I am away from you. I will admit that I may struggle a little to get our routine going at first but don't worry, I will make sure that no matter what you won't be too affected. I promise you we will have our mommy and isla time just the two of us and I will always have time for you no matter what. What I am most excited about is that you you will gain a little companion. Being able to share your life with a sibling and make memories with your whole life through. We will make memories for you guys to remenese when you are older. I would love for you to share a strong bond and always have each others best interest at heart. Heaven forbid that mommy and daddy should pass away together or even at different stages I am at peace that in this big world you will have each other to go through life. To be able to know that whatever stage in life you are each in you will have one another to call upon. There is nothing more important than FAMILY. Remember family is forever! It's blood. So no mater what If I can bestow a lesson to you it will be that family comes first. I love you to the moon and back and I can't wait to see you in your new title of big sister. It will be something so beautiful to see. You are already such a little lover that I just know that you will make a wonderful sister. You are mommy's little helper. Already kissing mommy's belly and rubbing the belly. You are always thinking of your brother or sister. Always making sure at bedtime that you say good night to everyone and that includes baby! :) you melt my heart. So here we go little lady soon you will be a big sister and life will be filled with more memories! 

I love you through and through! 

Next chapter

I'm a mama... Iv loved being a mommy for  2 years and 8 wonderful months. Now we Are welcoming the birth of our second baby this fall! I have to say I am excited but more than anything I am little  nervous. Actually ALOT nervous. Iv read so many articles, books, blogs and what have you about how your heart just grows and you just do. I'm looking forward to my little family of 4 but I am scared. I have to share my heart my time with another little human. i know i can and i know i will be just fine. Becoming a mama the first was so natural. So easy and such a beautiful experience that I don't understand my apprehension. Life will be different but this baby is going to complete us I just know it. I know the instant I hold my baby and see their beautiful little face all my thoughts and my worries will be but a distant memory. I just love isla so much my heart hurts. I don't know how I will be able to make her feel no change I want to make this the easiest transition for her. Isla is my bigger concern I know that we will be able to handle that. I need to just enjoy my time with isla while its just the three of us and slowly we are introducing the idea of baby growing in mommy. And already she is a wonderful BIG sister. Constantly rubbing my baby bump and always wanting to cuddle my belly and saying little sweet things to baby in mommy's tummy. She gets it, she knows baby will be here after her birthday and I love that she is so excited. "Baby coming soon mommy?" "After my birthday?" So adorable right? I am so confident she will make a perfect big sister. I just know it. So just like that we made the decision to give her a little companion to grow with and to share memories. We were so on the fence a out another baby, we weren't against it but we just loved how our life was and felt so fulfilled that we thought isla would be enough for us. We would sit and talk and my husband and I decided she needed someone to grow up with, someone who would be there her life through. Be there for each other always. It's so important to have someone. Heaven forbid something were to happen to my husband and I at least they have each other.  So we begin the next chapter and accept with open arms all the adventures and trials that will come our way raising two beautiful children. 

Dear isla,

I love it when You cradle my face in your little hands and capture my attention with those beautiful dark eyes of yours, any time something catches your attention! Saying to me " mommy what that? What the noise?" You melt my heart little girl! You do it so tenderly and yet over enthusiastically(is that even a word?) does that make sense? :) you get so happy learning about new sounds and what is out there, weather it be a motorcycle passing by or an airplane in the sky. You are so curios and I love how much you love to learn! Nothing gives me more pleasure then to stop right that moment and give you the answer to Your pending question. Simple things like that remind me of just how rewarding it is to be your mommy see my creation grow into this little being that makes life so worth the it! You give me purpose! I never existed until you. Daddy and you make my world go round. I hope you can appreciate this entry and know that mommy would love to know you continue to expand your horizon, I love you through and through little lady!

2013

Dear Isla,
another year is upon us and i cant help but get emotional just thinking of how far we have come. These last two years with you have been heaven. I STILL look at you and cant beleive you are ours! i love you so much i dont know how life was before you and i dont miss any of it. you have brought me so much joy so much emotion in the little time iv known you and yet i love you that much i cant imagine life without you. These past few months since i stopped working iv cherished so much. I get to be with you every step of the day. I miss you when you are asleep! you are my little companion,my go to, my little girl,my all! i love all the time we share. I am bleseed to be able to see see your development and enjoy every smile and giggle along the way! You are amazing kid! I can have conversations with you now and it's awesome! I love when you say things and people ask me " what she say" when it's a little unclear, I love that I understand everything you say and get a little annoyed when they don't give you enough credit when you speak. Not that it's a big deal because its not but I always make sure to correct what they "think" you said with what you actually said. So you know that you did say it correct. It's little silly things like that I mean. Nonetheless you are my daughter and daddy seems to think you have my personality! His looks but mommy's "attitude" I'll take that! I love to watch you on the playground or your little classes we attend. My little social butterfly! My little lover, you make friends everywhere we go. Such a sweet and nice girl! I love when we go to a restaurant and we are done ordering and you say; " thank you much very much" so cute! Daddy and i like to ask you questions and hear your little input. For example we say we are going to your cousins house and mentioned we would stop to get you some French fries and you will say " fries first" "then Titi house( that's your aunts house you mean you call her titi instead of the traditional Tia) it's amazing how you understand the concept of order. You amaze me daily with the words you bput together and your actions. So if you didn't gather my drift on this lets just say you are a talker! Lately you have been a teeny tiny fussy but I blame those molars. They have you good! You want mommy so much more and I love it! We get you to use your words when you get frustrated with your teething and tell me " owie mouth" I hate that it hurts you but love that you can identify what hurts! You also tell me "mommy tummy hurts" I can tell when it hurts or your just hungry!I love that I know you so well! I love that you know me so well! When you do something your not supposed to and I scold you get upset at me and say "sorry mommy" and flash your big eyes at me. In recognition of what you have done. You currently are in the TWOS with the recent "mine" stage. Daddy hugs me you say " no daddy no my mommy" or with your toys you usually are a great sharer. We are hoping to rid you of this habit as quickly as it came! One thing for sure of this mine stage I love that I am yours. So many beautiful moments we have shared this year as we watch you grow in to your self and I can't help but wish for the hands on the clock to slow Down some. You are amazing in all that you do! I look forward to what is to come this year! May we be blessed with many many more New Years together! I love you through and through!