A flashback.

While we try to teach our children about life, 

Our children teach us what life is all about.

Its is 3 in the morning and we are finally settled in the hospital room where we will finish the remainder of our stay. My husband and i experienced our daughters first wash down, the nurses gave us a few tips for the next time WE give Isla HER FIRST BATH.  in the moment i took it all in and i remember the details of her arrival, but not until after the fact can i appreciate all that was the birth of my daughter. i remember when the nurses left and told us if we needed anything to push the call button and someone would be in shortly, but i didn't want anyone to come in. I wanted to ADMIRE MY LITTLE BABY. Frankie told me it would be best for me to let the baby sleep in her hospital crib, so i may get some sleep. i couldn't resist, i grabbed her and held her and laid her down besides me. i was hurting but nothing mattered to me at that moment. i wanted to admire my creation. That feeling that went through  my whole body was a feeling that was something so unexplainable there aren't words to describe the moment i became a mother. i just remember thinking to my self WOW i am someones mommy! visions of one day hearing her call me mommy, of one day running in to my arms,of one day returning those thousand kisses i have already given her.Before i held her for the first time what was running through my mind was this is it! i am about to hold the little person i already was keeping safe. i just knew id die before anything would harm her, i knew that i would give MY OWN life for this little being who was hours old. My instinct kicked in as soon as those two pink lines became visible but actually seeing her made my life. I hold these moments in my heart and in my mind and the way i felt when my daughter was born. Its a beautiful experience. Isla is my biggest accomplishment and i love and appreciate my body for what it endured. I thank the lord daily for blessing me with this beautiful pure love This little angel he lent us. She is a child of the lord and i entrust her to him. I pray over her and beg the lord to send his angels to camp around her and carry her through her day. To keep her safe. i love this life i am living and my daughter is my reason. Isla in her 25 months(her 17months on earth and the 8 she was in my belly) that she has been with me, has filled my heart with so much love, so many memories and so many smiles. I feel like i have fulfilled my world my reason to be here on gods green earth, i was sent her to be husband's lover and my daughters life source. i gave life. what a gift. it pains me to hear when woman abandon their children and leave them in dumpsters. If only you could set your fears aside you would be over taken by the pure love this child offers. they cant offer you any materialistic anything BUT their LOVE is plenty ENOUGH! I am lucky to be able to conceive and to give my daughter this life filled with love, compassion, and ENDLESS love! My daughter is very loved, everywhere she goes she will know she is loved. It was love at first sight when they placed her on my chest and i was able to have a glimpse of that little person i so anxiously awaited for. Holding her and smiling my tears flowing, my heart was smiling. I looked around as the people that loved me where meeting MY new love. Watching isla be held by her daddy for the first time made me melt. there was NO PAIN, NO FEARS, i was sure she was my miracle. I am in love with my daughter and i feel blessed to be able to look back and see her in her car seat and know that she is mine. i am forever her mother, our connection will never be replaced.