I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off gearing up for everything going on right now. My biggest task is the way I am going to handle leaving my daughter. I really wish that I could bring her along but there is just NO way! And it kills me. See we will be in the wedding both the husband and I, so we have some wedding business we are going to be doing. Bridal girly appointments, Rehearsals, rehearsal dinner, wedding, after wedding they are gifting the bridal party with a Rookies game. Since we are away we don’t have anyone who could watch her while we do those things. It kills me! Some background for you I have never left Isla like this before. I mean hubby and I have had over night date night where she spent the night at Grama’s but It was just down the street I could get to her if I wanted or needed to in 10 minutes. Denver is FAR. I will not be able to get to her if heaven forbid something happened to her. This is anxiety that is killing me. I made a commitment before we found out we were expecting to the wedding so I kept my word but didn’t fathom how hard it will be to deal with my separation anxiety now that Isla is here. We thought by this time we would need a get away but I was WORNG. What am I going to do with out her for 5 days!!!! AHHH! I think this trip will be harder on me but I know she will miss me and it hurts me to think I will be away from her and that she may miss me. I have so much to do before then I hope that I can squeeze her in every second I get. While I am gone we will be facetiming with the iphone if you don’t know what that is it’s a feature that the iphone has you can see the person you are talking to through the 3G network, and I hope that it doesn’t upset her because ill cry if I see she is upset. I don’t know how to deal with all these thoughts! What if something happens to us while we are away, WORSE yet what if something happens to her and I am not there? Or what if she takes her first few steps with out mommy OR daddy there? I will be crushed! I am sure these feelings are all expected on a new parent, I just never dealt with this sort of feeling or didn’t anticipate I would feel like this some people make it seem easy… while I am there I am going to have to settle for the 1,000 plus iphone pictures! Am I too obsessive?
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