I am not perfect and because I am not perfect I know where I have been and what I have done, I am scared I won’t know how to handle a situation. I don’t know how I will be able to imply certain rules when I my self was guilty of breaking them as a young one. I was expressing my self to my best friend and sister in law this weekend about my insecurities and how I am going to be parenting my young lady and how I am I supposed to talk to her about “the girly things” I mentioned I didn’t want to be JUST her friend I said I have to be mommy first most importantly. Then a little 8 year old chimmed in and though she would offer her two cents from said…
1. don’t yell
2. listen to her
3. be her friend
how adorable is that!?!?! I was literally brought to tears after her next comment “my mom is my best friend, she is my pal” little girls mommy, you are wonderful you are doing something right. Because all night that little girl was so good, and you can just see her manners. I made sure to tell her mommy what she shared with me and that it reflected in her.
Made me think though. I broke the rules, although I was able to talk to my mom about everything. I still was a teenager. I got a tattoo at 16 and I kept hidden from my mom until I was 18. By 18 I was CAUGHT. I was still in school a high school senior. ( mom is Now over it though because I have 11) I WAS CAUGHT. I walked in one day AFTER an after school program and I was already in sweats because I like to be comfortable at that class since it was a class from 5-8. Back to my story I walk in and my mom is in living room and called me over to her. I usually will come in and greet her anyways so I come up to her and before my kiss she PANTS ME! OMG!!! Mom!!!! She started yelling at me and asking me if I was trying to kill her and why would I do that to my body. She was referring to my hip tattoo that I made sure to keep hidden even when I wore bathing suites, and undies. How in the world did she know?!?! I was caught. NOW flash forward I have a daughter. Is she going to sneak out, get her belly pierced, and get a tattoo?! Who am I to judge when I have been there done all the above? OH right I am her mom! So I have to prepare my self. To be a sort of “hypocrite”. I mean is that the word I am looking for? My husband and I were discussing what to do with some of these topics. SO we are thinking when it comes to piercings I don’t want any on the face, but if she is a good kid, and has great grades, I am willing to discuss a belly piercing. We discussed make up, nails, and tattoos. Both my husband and I have them, SO I said as long as she is not under 18 I don’t want her to have them OR know. SO hard to imply all these rules I have been known to break my self. I know its going to be a hard road, but I am sure we can handle parenting Isla. My husband has great morals and values and I appreciate his input. This is going to be hard, but I feel if I talk her through it and break it down and be real she will be more likely to come to me when she needs help and in the end won’t be able to throw anything in my face. I think I will have a different approach than my own mother, YET I want to imply some of the things she taught me since well I turned out okay. So my little lady please be ready, and don’t test me so much. Please talk about me to your friends like that little girl did to me. Nothing would make me prouder. I hope that’s even a word. :)
SO Isla i am going to put it all out there NOW and when you come and ask me you can bet i will be completely honest with you, as i would only wish and hope you could repay me with the same token.
- iv pierced my nose and tongue. HATED it removed the tongue ring after 1 DAY i couldn't even eat a freaking french fry! i couldn't move my mouth. nose piercing after two weeks. i felt dirty. why i don't know maybe because make up would collect in it!?! who knows. baby god gave you a beautiful face please dont make any changes.
- i curse.
- lost my virginity at age 16 to my high school sweetheart. (four years with him) yes i loved him. we were smart. used protection. told grama about it.
- iv been in 4 accidents.
- iv had numerous driving tickets
- i did drink before the age of 21 but i am to this day not a big drinker so please please please be careful with what and who you decide to test with.
- YES iv tried drugs. Weed. we can discuss this when the time comes.
- i have snuck out to see a boyfriend. got a flat tire from the result of it drove it home on the rim because i didn't want to get caught. BAD CHOICE. my parents were worried SICK when i left for school that day and they woke up to a tilted van. i laugh now.
- i have 11 tattoos. PLEASE don't cover your self with them (i have NOTHING AGAINST THEM) i just think if you are anything like me you will try to be discreet about the placement and know they can be easily hidden, for work,school, or what ever is in stored for you.
- Like my mother ALWAYS TOLD ME "You can play with fire and NOT get burned" take what you want from that, i took it as i can be around these temptations and know my limit, associate my self with people who respect my choices. EVEN when i said NO
People that never judged me.
- Life is hard, and you have to learn who is in your life to be a great role and a life time friend.
YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MIND TO THE SKY IS THE LIMIT well actually live life like there is no limit when you want to achive your goals. what ever they may be i stand behind you!
I LOVE YOU!
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