If ever you think you hate me...

Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  ~Elizabeth Stone

Please remember i love you and even when you are upset and mad at me i know you love me too. Its what we instilled in you. but please don't ever yell at me you hate me i don't think i could take it, because i love you so much.  I cant always be just your  "friend" i have a role that is above that. i am your mommy. Being your mother means keeping you safe, caring for you, teaching you, and sometimes scolding you. Yes there will be times where i will have to ground you but (i cant believe i am saying this:) it will be for your own good. My job is to love you and to guide you. Please know that no matter what i will never steer you wrong.

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts.  A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.  ~Sophia Loren

 I will always have YOUR best interest at heart. Even if what i tell you hurts. even when i tell you something you don't want to hear or believe, please know its with love. I will never give you advise that will be made to steer you wrong. My own mother would give me criticism and it seemed so harsh but i know she would never mean wrong. My mom was my worst critic BUT my biggest fan. I am your biggest fan. I love you and because i do

Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn't know you had, and dealing with fears you didn't know existed.  ~Linda Wooten

i know we will clash at times. Please know that you will NEVER find someone who loves, prays, cares and worries about you more than i do! If you don't hate me once in your life i am not doing my job properly. I wont always be your favorite person, but for now i am and i relish in this feeling. you make me feel so special and i only want to make you feel this way too. Just please remember how serious a situation may seem YOU CAN ALWAYS COME TO ME. i wont judge you. I am here to help. I am here to walk and hold your hand through anything. Does not matter the time, place or what condition you are in. i will go to the ends of the earth for YOU! 

Family is the most important thing. Family is forever. Just like my love for you. JUST know Isla as hard as it may seem to approach me if ever you need to talk i am here. Remember that i love you more than there are stars in the sky. If ever you hate me remember that i gave you life and with out me changing those poopy diapers you would be nothing... i kid. YOU are my EVERYTHING! Please don't ever hate me. Lets talk through it. Believe me we will get through it. And if you do hate me for not letting you go out on that date you wanted to go so badly Remember  the reason: YOU AREN'T ALLOWED TO DATE UNTIL YOU ARE MARRIED. 

She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn't take them along.  ~Margaret Culkin Banning

I    LOVE  YOU
forever! 

Love letter to my Daughter

My sweetest Isla,

It doesn't matter what sort of day we just had. Weather it was  a wonderful fun filled day or one of those sort of "off days". I know that no matter what my favorite time with you is bed time, when you are winding  down ready for Mimi time. Its when i can take advantage of the still of the night and how calm you are. I get to steal those kisses i cant give you as i want. I get a few moments of cuddles but nothing like when you are dozing away. Don't get me wrong I can't get enough of you while you Learn your surrounding and laugh and play. You are so amazed with everything that's new to you! There is nothing i enjoy more than to see your face light up when you hear or see an "airpane" as you call it... You area such a strong little girl. You can't get enough of all these adventures! And I love that I get to be the one to  show you the world around you.  teach you about what's used for what and play your puzzle boards with you. But at night time, we read you books and you just love your story time! "Book book bookay" Any time of the day you can get a story you are one happy girl! :) after your bedtime story I love the nights you grab me and cuddle me like you do teddy! On your tummy and your arm rubs my  back and locking around my neck. I enjoy that closeness... And to kiss your little soft cheeks and run my hand through your curls helps me to unwind. the nights you are uneasy I still get to enjoy your closeness as I sneak a  soft touch I know you enjoy! Even if you push against...There is nothing more I enjoy then your scent! I love you through and through and I love as you get older you find ways to respond to my " i love you's" from  a gentle rub against my chest to caressing my arms as the pattern soothes you. I tell you I love you and as your arm is around my neck you pat my back as a response and I know you understand my love for you! The way when i get home from work you receive me with tight holds and sweet loving looks. you are a love bug! you love to rub your little face agaist mine as you close your little eyes in the moment. you are so sweet! you love the butterfly kisses we share and i love that you know who I am! You only give ME   that sort of affection. I am your mommy! There is no other title I would wear more proudly   "Isla's mommy"  you bring me so much joy and I thank god for you  daily! Thank you for these little moments that i cherish. Mommy daughter relationships are one of the closest ones. I am so thankful for that!  Well my little princess mommy loves you until infinity!

-mommy

random

• I still sleep with a stuff animal who's name is Henry and he is a bunny! and i honestly sleep with him daily whether i have hubby or baby to cuddle.

• If I could eat cereal I would have it morning, noon, and night... i am OBSESSED!

• I write list and re write and re write list

• I'm obsessed with writing notes! can you tell? 

• I take on more than one task at the same time... and am pretty good at it.

• My favorite color is Mint (now) it used to be pink but iv always like both but iv decided my grown woman favorite color is MINT and im on trend!

• I love coffee I can drink it right before bed and it does not faze me. add some vanilla creamer and i am good to go!

• I can’t ever finish a drink does not matter WHAT it is! And if I do it most likely took me forever!ask the husband its a huge pet peeve!

• I can be crafty... newly found. more like re vamping and working with what i got!

• I hate to drink adult beverages. If you know me you know I usually will babysit a drink… ALL NIGHT. If I drink I have to drink quickly as in shots. Because i like the feeling. SOMETIMES> i get over it quickly and tap out.However IV been really enjoying some white wine  pinot grigio lately. If I have to drink beer it will be BLL OR Coors light. Whimp I know!

• I have a thing about counting. If I am driving I count the light post,tress,cars,steps anthing in a row ect. I know WEIRD!i have no clue what this means. OCD?!?!

• If I am listening to music it’s mostly the "oldies but goodies" I love the oldies! i can listen to anything. no techno though!

• Pink lips are my "signature" lipstick   

• I am a total reader. I love to read. Most recent fifty shades of grey Trilogy finished all three in less than a week. I am also about to start the third book of Beautiful creatures.i love being sucked in and carried away.

•  I hate painting my own nails and toes. HATE IT! And for someone who hates it I change my polish often.

• My best friend is 20 months old and my other best friend is 26 years old.

• My dearest friend iv had since I was 5! 20 years of friendship is pretty amazing!

 

• I love to burn candles.and have turned the husband on to it too!

• I can’t stand the heat. I can put things on to warm up but I obviously can’t walk around naked.

• My daughter is my biggest accomplishment

• I CAN get along with ANYONE. Really. I am a people person. super friendly.

• i am 5 foot 3 inches

• I have THE biggest sweet tooth

• When i watch TV i cant fully concentrate on what i am watching

THE end.

current wishlist

1. Core collection brushes   i have been wanting to try these out since i hear great reviews! that flat dome one in particular!
2. This is my signature scent! iv worn this since i was in high school! i LOVE it just ran out so its time for another bottle!BUT i wrote this before mothers day and i got a new bottle! YAY!
3. Never owned this but iv sampled it! i want to add this to my collection some day!
4.  Naked 2 After mixed reviews i own the first palette but i sort of want this one now since my favorite shadow on my naked palette has hit pan!
5. BH Cosmetic fan brush! i want to use this for highlight!
6. Bobbi Brown concealer kit i have dark under eye circles at times and iv heard this baby is perfect for those!

7. MAKE UP FOREVER  now I AM a Mac girl but iv been wanting to try this out for sometime now, i think 80 bucks is a decent price for all this! you get the foundation (which iv sampled) the setting powder and a primer. and a kabuki to boot! :)

Now some for Isla

8. wood chalk laptop! 

9. A pool! 

10. Sand box 

11. water station

12. a bounce house

13. a jogging stroller for her favorite walks and mommy's fitness! 

And back to mommy... 

sorry for the out of order.

14 &15- i just googled the color and added the word pump and got these results i have been on the hunt for these color pumps! still yet to find one's i love!

16- i want them still in Coral, pale yellow, and lavender!

17- I want a coral color blazer and a cobalt blue as well! 

So lets slowly check some of these items off! after all i have to budget my money and i have to take care of priorities first. i will get there! :) 

May Favorites

First up on my favorites The much talked about "Fifty shades Trilogy" 

What can i say about these books?!?! O-H- M-G-E-E i was so addicted that i finished all three in less than a week. SO tastefully teasing! i definitely cant wait for the movie.

This is my Christian Grey! i really hope to see him play the role! since hearing of the movie talk and since i started the books this who i imagine as i read. YUM! Ian Somerhalder

 

I got this idea from Pinterest  simple. A frame. typed up the words. dry erase marker and all you do is write on the glass.  i put it right by the door so its one of the first things we see. The message above is from my dear husband.

My Favorite fragrance! been wearing it since i got a new bottle for mother's day! although i try to wear it on special occasions and on days when i want to smell my scent.

Vaseline Coconut oil. i love this stuff for some extra moisture and extra shine. Makes my skin glimmer.
i love using this on my shoulders and on my collar bone when i wear staples anything. Or when i wear a skirt, dress, shorts anything where i show a lot of leg i put some on those babies and it give it a nice sheen.

Vaseline Lip therapy i love this stuff makes and keeps my lips soft and moisturized.

This became one of my favorite colors instantly. i wore it all month. Iv worn it on my toes and now nails and i definitely am in love!

I own four of these,plum wine, hot tamale, peach satin, candy peach. They are pretty awesome! i love the texture and the way they apply on the skin. i apply it with this brush

This brush shape makes it easy for the application of creme blushes. i have also used this brush for foundation. Also this brush a whopping 3.00 can you believe the steal? its great! found mine at Target! iv been using those colors and this brush ALL MONTH long and into JUNE i anticipate since its wear last me all day!

I have  been catching up on some past and new shows iv been loving!!!

HILARIOUS! When i have down time at work i switch on my Wifi and head phones in and watch episodes on my ABC app! Another show i am following is The Bachelorette 
 Can i just say i am in love with Doug although a bit hard to read at times, like he is just there to supervise almost as though he is doing inside work. who knows! i hope not i think he is super YUM!

and i usually snack on these as i watch.... MMMmmm my favorite

Some quotes i have been liking 

So with that i will leave you....

20 Months Old

My daughter is 4 months away from turning TWO! where in the world has the time gone? when did this happen?

my life is so complete since she was born, nothing can compare the way she makes my world! I could have never imagined my life like this! its my perfect! Isla is growing so much and impresses me DAILY! So full of life she lights up our home! Her toys are everywhere and that's the way i love it!

Our little miss is growing up so quickly and making her mark on us one day at a time!

• weighs 20 pounds 1 ounce she is certainly tiny but her pediatrician thinks she is growing beautifully and since i am petite she has no concerns. 
• Still in a size 3 diaper
• she is in 18-24 month pants but most bottoms that fit her waist is 12 months 
• Isla has a big foot so adorable she is so tiny and a size 4 quickly growing in to a size 5 

Her development is amazing and i know i say that a lot but i am so impressed by her vocabulary. This little girl talks so much and is very confident. It makes us laugh at her "Stop it" and "no no's" This little girl talks A LOT! more than iv seen and experience with other kids her age or older. AMAZING!  I ask her "how are you" and she says "Good" or if she falls or i see she gets hurt i ask "are you okay?" she says "i okay" She minds her please and thank you's its adorable. If we run through a drive through she is the first to thank the drive through person helping us. SO adorable!

Having a daughter is so amazing! i still cant believe she is ours and that she is here!Isla is my little best friend.  Life with her is an experience! We like to play sorting, and counting and we also do flashcards. 

CRAZY to think in 4 months i will have a TWO year old! 

Activities she likes

•  paiting
• coloring
• Books
• the park 
• running
• sorting

• playing with her baby 

Isla still sleeps through the night and usually in bed by 9 and sleeps until 9 its been this way since she was three months old. However we used to get her down at 8 but since she dropped a nap iv had a hard time getting her back to her normal schedule. So she naps only once a day for two hours.

Isla Eats so well! since i made her baby food i make sure to keep her on a well balanced meal plan. a lot of veggies, fruits, some meat. Pastas. and good choice snacks. Isla is very confident, independent little girl. i love that she is independent although i wish she still needs me more than she does at times. Of course she needs me but she rather do things like feed her self alone now. makes me sad but i love that she is so independent.
 i have to get used to my little miss growing up. 

According to my iphone and our FIRST boo boo and a trip to the ER

WHAT a freaking week its been yesterday was a week since our first real parenting milestone. 

The evening started off as our regular evening stroll to the park. sometimes daddy joins us like this evening. it was all fun and the hubby wanted to take her to the big kids side with the big kids swings. Isla was laughing at daddy's noises and how high he was going. Long story short he jumps off Isla wiggles off my legs and before i can grab her or the swing it hit her clear under her nose and right above her lip. UGH! it was all in slow motion and yet i couldn't move quick enough. There was a clear gash before it covered with blood you could literally stick a nickel in there size gash! GEEEEZZZE! i started crying(yes me) baby cried because she wanted to go back on the swings. Since we walked to the park we had to call Grama to come get us. she came quickly and we took her to her kaiser urgent care. They then sent us to CMH where there were specialist to assist with children. Off we went and hours hours later we had a sedated, stitched baby and a mama who cried more and experienced her first panic attack EVER! i composed my self though and made it through. i didn't go to work since i couldn't sleep a wink scared since she was medicated.
 THE HARDEST experience thus far.There arent words to describe what i felt this day. so helpless and wishing i could trade places with my child.

Before the boo boo! 

 So sad to see my baby this way! and poor daddy! he was so worried.

My little baby! so little and so brave! 3 stitches before TWO! 

The rest of the week went well. We didn't do too much. Friday We did a couples date night, Pizza, wine, beer and a movie.

 That Slurpee is filled with Wine... talk about cheap dates huh!?! we bring our own wine! To the movie we brought along the wine and well i made it 10 minutes before falling asleep! YUP asleep! Good thing it was a steal deal on tickets or else i would feel terrible! But according to the others the movie sucked anyway.

 Saturday we just hung out all day! I picked her up from grama's and grandpas and we did a lot of lounging and mommy did a lot of this 

I finished all three books of the Fifty shades trilogy. all in less than a week! UGH! i want MORE! more! 

 more! I cant wait for the movie now! This past weekend it was wine, and MR. Grey!

Saturday we Also got to play with a family friends little girl while her mommy and daddy moved to a new house. after that play date we headed out to a family friends graduation party! i was a pleasant evening.

Sunday and Monday was a lot of lounging again just how i liked it since Sunday we had to take her to get the stitches removed five days later. We got through that! 

How adorable is my little miss?!?! UGH! she is getting so BIG! 

  

That was our MDW long weekend! and it was a total LONG week for me! After the stitches incident.

how was your weekend?!?