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| The actual night i spoke about |
Does that even exist? is there a Martha Stewart or a Betty Crocker of mommy hood? i am not talking the Super Nanny here. I am no where near the perfect mommy, but pretty darn close just kidding ya'll! the husband goes as far as saying i am uptight and i am anal and what not but he admires my drive and admires that this little girl has it all and more than she needs from binky wipes to wipes for the wipes. after 10 perfect months of baby and mommy hood i found my self in a situations where i was wondering when i was going to be able to get home i didn't even get to enjoy my dinner with my bestie this particular night it seemed as though teething baby was in full blown teething and boy was she upset about it. She is not a teething nightmare by all means she has actually taken it very well she only has 2 wittle teeth on the bottom i am anticipating the ones right next to those i can see them coming in any day now. Well Saturday she was truly hurting i could tell she was trying to devour her rubber place mat that i put down for her any time we go out to dinner. she was trying to find relief so i grabbed an ice cube and rubbed it along her gums a few times and she let me. Before that though she was actually yelling and acting the way i would think the terrible twos would be. Not wanting to sit nicely in her big girl high chair the way she normally is so excited to do she wanted mommy and i knew just what to do nothing else mattered i didn't care if people saw her throwing her self and whining the whole time as i gathered what i needed to begin the distraction parade so the bestie could enjoy her meal. I feel like i am a very good mommy i am the mommy with patience i never would have imagined me being the way i am. As i watch other people fall apart around me trying to control their child being all frantic while they dealt with the situation. or the way my own family member's seem to get flushed when Isla is crying, i just ignore and go about doing what i need to do ease her.Which brings me to thinking about different parenting styles. I am not perfect! i remember one night when she was a newborn and my husband was sound asleep (another one of my frustration for future post) i sat up in our bed holding our weeks old daughter who was sick and lost her cry she literally would cry and you couldn't hear her, she was hurting and couldn't breath,i had tried it all humidifier, baby rub, nose sucker, saline drops 3 am steam shower bathroom sesh i couldn't sleep i was worried if i did she would stop breathing. Since she was in my belly i was scared some freak accident would cause me to have a still born and i would lose this little being my heart goes out to all the families that have been affected with this sort of event. so this is something i don't do well would i am sure i am not the only one who had these fears so i sat there holding her as she finally fell asleep i was scared so i slept sitting up back against the wall at a slight slant that whole night with her facing forward on my chest that night i remember sobbing with her i couldn't do anything to sooth her and i cried not because i didn't know how to get her to relax but because she was hurting and nothing i did seemed to ease her i felt like i failed her she depends on me to know these things i am her voice. The way she would look at me "like come on do something" broke my heart! I tried so hard to do what ever it was to help her eat, breath, sleep i resorted to letting her sleep in her car seat as our pediatrician said the elevation would help. I tried feeding her with a medicine dropper just so she would take in some formula, i stayed wide eyed watching her little frame inflate up and down with every breath she took. Where am i going with all this? I feel like no matter what situation is thrown at us mommy's we seem to work at it to care for a child, its in our nature so doesn't that make us the perfect mommy? I AM Isla's PERFECT MOMMY It does not matter what i look like or what i wear or how long my hair is what matters is i nurture her and show her time and time again that mommy is there to help her i build her confidence with every whimper i am there. i was given advice left and right and in the end i did what i thought was best and it all has worked out for me. i have the perfect mommy who eased me and did what she could to ensure i was taken care of i think that is what being the perfect mommy is. I don't like to judge other mommy's because i don't do things the "right" way, i do things MY WAY. So my suggestion is do what you think works best for you, let that inner mommy take reigns and go with your feelings. Don't let anyone judge you and if you catch glares keep on mama YOU are perfect!
