The road to you

I am at the airport killing time before my flight back to our babies and I am going over my last few days and wow! It was what I needed, a beautiful memory I now take with me and remenance on. When I made the arrangements to see you all I could do was think about seeing your face after 3 long months  apart. In our 9 years together we have only been apart 1 week. This was my first big girl trip. Here I am 28 years old and although I have traveled before,twice in fact to the state I was going to I never have done it alone. So here I was. Flight check. Car check. Hotel check. I was on my way to you. My heart lead the way let me tell you. So day of my trip was relatively early. Girls were in bed asleep as it was almost 5 in the morning. I got to lax and immediately got anxiety because I knew two things that plane was taking me to you and both taking me away from our babies as well. My heart was prepared though I needed to see YOU to reconnect with my soulmate. The first part of my trip was so smooth. I landed in to Dallas and boy I boy it all began.  We are spoiled coming from California this I know but not expecting the weather to play such a key role in all this is amateur. I mean you have told me all along that I should expect anything and everything as far as weather goes. Well I make it in and about to get on the "skyline" in Dallas airport to go to the gate for my connecting flight and it all is good then all of a sudden the voice over the speakers says all must exit and continue on foot to your gates due I the weather. What?!?! Apparently Dallas had not had any rain and was in a drought but on this day it came down grounding all flights!!! I was already at my terminal and I get a call from my airline telling me iv been put on a flight that would leave the following day nearly 24 hours later!!!! Making me miss your family day I sooooo looked forward to since the day you left. There was absolutely No way! So I couldn't do a Stand by since it was fully booked already! Noooooo. So I get on my phone and map out Dallas TX to Lawton OK And it was about a 3 hour drive. I'll book a car to my next car reservation. So that I did. only to decide to forget all that keep my car rental from Dallas airport.  I got a car and got on my way after I had to wait a whole hour before I was reunited with my luggage.so silly to me that my bags would fly as scheduled to my next location but I couldn't. Thanks AA. It's okay though because along the way I met some kind folks who were on their way to Fort sill for their son and boyfriends basic graduation as I was. The cooler part the other soldier was in your exact platoon. So I didn't feel alone. Being from California and being around only freeways all these interstates and roads confuse the H out me. So I mapped it and well of course apple app got me lost! I drove around different ways only to end up the same place but taking all different routes. I finally pulled over and walked in to the closest anything i found. Subway! A gentle man and his older sons were experiencing some sort of trouble processing their order and I walked in literally saying "help I'm lost" and they gave me all their attention. God bless them they had me download google maps and just decided to have me follow them and they literally led me to the interstate and exited as soon as they could. It was out of their way and let me tell you I am beyond thankful to them. That whole thing you hear about them saying in Dallas they are so kind well  I can definitely say this true first hand. So thank you kind gentle men. I seriously appreciate that you helped out a lady in distress. :) lol. So I finally made it to where I needed to be and a whole 2 hours and 43 minute drive ahead of me all was well and I was taking in the view with my google maps app going leading me closer and closer to the love of my life. Straight shot I tell ya! Passed a toll road and then my phone announced me my phone was dying and I was in the middle of no were not knowing my next move after the last direction. I had no idea how to get to my hotel. I kept driving thinking I'll have to pull over at a gas station in the middle of no where at 9  pm and ask for a quick charge or maybe directions. Well I was worried and all of a sudden my sign from god I look to my right and as you see on these empty roads announcing gas stations, lodging, my hotel had a sign with the last directions needed to get me to the hotel. (Thank you my lord you are good)  I check in and I am safe. Ready to take on my refund and cancelations of flight and car. In the phone for a couple hours sorting out the remainder of my trip since I wanted nothing in my way. All worked out and I got to be on time to my husbands military family day celebration and graduation. These last 4 days with you were magical. Just what I needed. To touch you and see your handsome face felt so surreal to me. I was with you and I felt like my self again. I felt empty until I was finally with you in your arms. Kissing you and just feeling you. Like I have told you numerous times before, our babies are my whole world but YOU are my heart. When I am with you I am complete. YOU make me ME. With this distance we just faced it let us know that we did not miss a beat. It's still just you and I. I am madly in love with you and you are so in love with me and I feel it in the way we connect. I couldn't stop smiling all weekend. I was on cloud nine on a high that I don't ever want to come down. And all I need is you to feel that high. You have made me so proud to see you be a better version of the wonderful man you already were. You are you and I love that. Your comrades expressed them selfs about you in a way that made me so proud to be your wife. Being in the whole military way of life was really insightful and gave me a great glimpse of the way life will be once we are all together and in the new life we will be sharing. Thank you again my love for giving me the gift of being a stay at home mommy and raising our beautiful baby girls. And I salute you soldier thank you for your sacrifices and for serving out country. My pride is through the roof and because of you I appreciate all these service men and woman who serve to protect our freedom. 

So thank you soldiers I salute you. 

Ps: that whole thing about a man in uniform... Oooooh my my... soldier you do it to me prvt. 

Dear Frankie

I heard your ringtone at about 5:24 pm my time and instantly I couldn't believe it. My stomach started to tickle and I answered my phone and I heard your voice! Oh my god what a tease! You had bad cell service but it was enough to give me butterflies. At least I heard your voice and heard you tell me you were okay and that you missed us and love us. One minute is all I got but it made my week. That same morning after I made the bed I sprayed your cologne on my pillow. So random that when you called I was watching fireproof that couples Christian movie and my phone rings. I took it as a sign from god giving me hope and letting me know all is alright. Let's just say that night I had a good stretch of sleep since Ezra still wakes in the middle of the night 3 times but those 4 hours of sleep felt amazing all because I could smell you on the pillow that I was hugging. I miss you more than words can describe. I'm lonely without you.  Your letters have gotten me through a little I just can't wait until I can write you. 

The girls love you do much and are missing you too. Here are some pictures of our week. 

Our visit with cousin Eden :) 

I finally got to go to ikea and this is what Ezra thought of it :) 

At her 6 month check up :) 

This was the week ending on 20140426 :) getting some military training my self. Iv been reading a book called "married to the military" to try and gather some insight on our new life. I'm trying papa. 

I life you and I miss you! 

Happy half a year to our little Ezra

Ezra Ezra Ezra... 

You are growing so fast and I just can't believe that you are six months old now that we have been blessed to have you half a year! 

You are weighing 14.11 pounds and are 26.8 inches tall and that puts you in the 88th percentile you are growing so beautifully. You are still in size 2 diapers and wearing 6-9 month clothes. 

You are really teething now. You have been so drooly and now more than before. I think I can almost see something on your bottom right side of your gums. Maybe. It so neat!

 We started solids last week with cereal and you hate it! I have been doing cereal everyday as we keep practicing but you just won't budge. So we moved on sweet potato and nothing. Oh well I'll keep at it. Ezra you are such a strong willed little girl. You do things at your own time. Six months and you have yet to sleep through the night, makes for one tired mama. You go down at 8 and need a bottle at 12:30, 3:30, 7 am. 

You love to be in the know, which means a lot of baby wearing and a lot of entertaining you.

Daddy is your favorite person. It's so adorable to see you two together. 

You are very demanding which is you have earned the title of "the boss" it's so cute to hear Isla call uy the boss. She yells "mom the boss is awake" lol. If Ezra not having it NOONE is. 

Daddy and I have come to the conclusion that you will just be a stern little strong minded little thing. 

You have been sitting up on your own since 5 months. 

You love to yell

 And babble but mostly yell. 

When you want attention boy do you let us know. So impatient the way you yell for us to pick you up or do what you want. 

We love you so much little girl you have the most adorable little dimples when you smile and your laugh is the most contagious thing. AND your sneezes oh my goodness a Benavidez for sure. You literally warm up before a sneeze "Aaaaaaah cho" it's my favorite sound you make. 

You are very cuddly when I hold you, you love to lean in to me and snuggle your face in to me. 

We are so blessed to have you in our life little lady. Please slow down and stay my baby for a long time. 

Dear girls

Hello Isla, 

you are amazing let me just tell you.  You continue to impress me with the way you have taken on being a big sister. I love you so much and there is nothing in this world that makes me more proud than to see the way you are at being a big sister helper. You make my world so much better. My sweet sensitive girl. 

Hello Ezra, 

Mommy is so proud of you. You have mastered sitting so well on your own and I am your biggest fan. You are so special. The way you have such a big personality in such a tiny little body gets me every time. You are so driven and so set in your own ways already. A girl that knows what she wants and gets it. Granted it's only for the time being since you usually want a bottle or my attention. Totally do able but let's look back in your teen years and see how I feel about that. :) I love you my little Ezra. 

Dear frankie

Week one: 

I'm sitting on the couch and the house is quiet, girls were in bed at the same time. Call it a fluke but it happened. I a missing you like crazy even more right now as I watch house hunters on HGTV I miss your input and the way we go back n fourth on our opinions. So this week I can't believe it's been a whole 5 days without you :( but  Like usual we went to the library but this trip it was kind of special other than having late fees because well we skipped a couple story times because the girls were sick and I completely forgot that their are due at a certain date but any whoooooo... It was special because little miss boss was awake and wanting to mingle so I  had her on my lap Isla took a spot on the rug and Ezra was going for the carpet because she was attracted to the pattern and well she sat up most of the time alone and very attentive to the story. Isla asked to hold her and then I captured this 

 

A surreal moment because Ezra is growing. She sat on her own for sometime so it was so neat to see. Also sad because you are going to miss some milestones. After story time I decided to take isla to rocket fizz. Oh my gosh she was thrilled saying "mommy mommy it's like a real candy shop" soooo adorable. 

Needless to say she was everywhere :) 

Here are some random shots so far 

Ezra totally looks like Isla here right?!? :) 

Took Isla to the club house and that like always is a hit she made a new friend and let me know it. Grabbing the little girls hand yelling " look mom my new best friend" but I thought I was her BFF! 

Taking a break to draw her new BFF a picture. Awwwww. The boss had fun too

As she watched all little kids run around Ezra was screeching and squealing and kicking her little feet. Can you picture that?!?! :) 

Her first time sitting big girl at target with mommy and Grama for a final Easter target run. Her face tells it all im AMAZEMENT at all the views. Last almost the whole trip until the boss got hungry. Needless to say 2 hour nap came of this. 

Ps: did you spot isla? 

Today is Easter and it means it's officially a whole week with out you. I have to admit today was not easy. Actually it was really hard on me. Cried more than a couple times. I just miss you so much it's frustrating. I can't live without you. I need strength to get through this papa but I just can't muster it. I can't help it. Your my everything. I did keep a happy face all day for Isla because she has randomly caught me in the act and tells me oh mommy stop crying I miss daddy too. So sad I don't want her to see me weak. I just can't help it. If only I could see your face or hear your voice. I just hate that I don't know what your doing or how you are. From communicating all day to cold turkey nothing!!! Anyway Im Crying now so I'll move on. Here are pictures from today and some from the rest of the week.

Easter bunny stopped by and left some tracks. So cute and innocent her reaction this morning. 

We spent Easter with her cousin jasmine at their new place. The girls enjoyed their little hunt. So that was our week papa. I miss you and I love you. 

Why i am NOT against Pacifiers

There are the parents are against pacifiers and some that are for. I am FOR. i remember when i was pregnant with isla reading somewhere about SIDS and how babies often "forget to breath" and which is why they fall in to that state of sleep and don't wake up... This was always the scary thing to me and it continues to scare me. I have seen when isla is sleeping she will be sucking on her paci and all of sudden stop,then she will realize that the paci has slipped her lips and she imminently will suck it back up therefore keep her breathing.between co sleeping and the Paci I pray we can have a little security.  i do how ever will be taking this away from my little cutie as soon as she goes in the big girl potty! thats always been my rule and my mentality. Its your own little timeline that I am hoping we can stick to.

I have to admit I love the way I can look through my camera roll and in the pictures we take of her the Paci makes an appearance 87% of the time. its her little signature look.


She is so particular however to the ones she uses as you can see thats her type she won't take any other.  that Paci looked do cute in her little mouth framing her little face pretty much consuming her whole little 5 pound 6oz little face when she was born.

Dear frankie

                                      

Hello my husband 

It is my first night with out you.(4/13/2014) My chest is tight and I feel very down. What gets me through is I am able to talk to you for now and you say the right things to make me catch my breath. its going to be a challenge everyday for me since you are very much a part of me. Your my other half and we have not been apart longer than a week in our almost 9 years. It's going to be a test for us. I know that we will get through this and continue to be strong and united as we always have been. The longest 6 months of my life for sure, but I am your lioness and I am going to be strong for you and our girls.Since you departed I decided that I would write you and share memories that I have captured in your absence. Little moments and things they have done and said and pictures.  We miss you so much and love you.cant tell you how proud I am of you and thank you for making sacrifices and giving me the gift of being my provider so I can stay home with our girls. There is Light at the end of the tunnel and a finish line I can't wait to cross to give you all the kisses and holds I've been wanting to give you. Life is better with you and makes my heart happy to know we have a lifetime of eachother ahead of us. 

I LIFE you my soldier.